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Learning to “Let Go” and Forgive

“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.” - Lewis Smedes   Recently, I read Paulo Coelho’s beautiful new book The Aleph in which the lead character says a moving “Prayer of Forgiveness”.  The prayer touched me and made me reflect on how many people punish themselves, sometimes for many years by not forgiving others and themselves.   Of course, all of us at some point in our lives have been hurt by someone, or hurt someone, either intentionally or unintentionally. If the pain is intense we often hold onto our anger for a very long time. In our heads we play the scene many times, which only adds to our unrest.  The memory deepens and sometimes exaggerates resulting in the pain to intensify.   When the relationship is an important one, some of us will at some point make the move to resolve the conflict and eventually within time learn to let go and forgive the offending person.  But there will be many of us who continue holding onto anger, pain, resentment or guilt not realizing that in the end the person you damage the most is yourself.   Our whole life can get affected by this obsession; family, friends, work – and in some cases we can get so consumed that we forget about enjoying the beauty of what is happening around us; we stop appreciating the good things happening to us because we have filled ourselves with resentment, thus blocking love from entering.   We need to forgive and let go, so that we can start living life again by allowing love to enter. To do this:   First make a commitment to yourself that you want the best for yourself, after all your wellbeing is your priority. If you are not able to appreciate your life you will never have the courage to live the life you love.   Always remember that to forgive and let go is in your control; it is your choice.  If it was you that hurt another make amends; tell them or write to them about how you feel and then let go and forgive yourself.  Understand that you are human and as humans we all make mistakes.  If it was someone who hurt you then let them know, release yourself of the pain and resentment, why would you want to continue hurting yourself by holding onto this pain?  Negative thoughts deplete your energy and positive thoughts increase your energy and your thoughts are always in your control.   If the situation was very traumatic then it is important for you to get professional help to allow you to let go and forgive. Understand that this may, depending on the severity of the situation, take months or years, but it is only once you do this that you will be able to get peace of mind and allow your life to move forward.   To finish where I began; the beautiful “Prayer of Forgiveness” from The Aleph by Paulo Coelho:     The tears I shed, I forgive The suffering and disappointments, I forgive The betrayals and lies, I forgive The slandering and scheming, I forgive The hatred and persecution, I forgive The punches that were given, I forgive The shattered dreams, I forgive The dead hopes, I forgive The disaffection and jealousy, I forgive The indifference and ill will, I forgive The injustice in the name of justice, I forgive The anger and mistreatment, I forgive The neglect and oblivion, I forgive The world with all its evil, I forgive   Grief and resentment, I replace with understanding and agreement Revolt, I replace with music that comes from my violin Pain I replace with oblivion Revenge, I replace with victory   I will be able to love above all discontentment To give even when I am stripped of everything To work happily even when I find myself in the midst of all obstacles To dry my tears even when I am still crying To believe even when I am discredited  

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Learning to “Let Go” and Forgive

Posted by admin | Posted in Uncategorized | Posted on 19-03-2012

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“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.”

- Lewis Smedes

 

Recently, I read Paulo Coelho’s beautiful new book The Aleph in which the lead character says a moving “Prayer of Forgiveness”.  The prayer touched me and made me reflect on how many people punish themselves, sometimes for many years by not forgiving others and themselves.

 

Of course, all of us at some point in our lives have been hurt by someone, or hurt someone, either intentionally or unintentionally. If the pain is intense we often hold onto our anger for a very long time. In our heads we play the scene many times, which only adds to our unrest.  The memory deepens and sometimes exaggerates resulting in the pain to intensify.

 

When the relationship is an important one, some of us will at some point make the move to resolve the conflict and eventually within time learn to let go and forgive the offending person.  But there will be many of us who continue holding onto anger, pain, resentment or guilt not realizing that in the end the person you damage the most is yourself.

 

Our whole life can get affected by this obsession; family, friends, work – and in some cases we can get so consumed that we forget about enjoying the beauty of what is happening around us; we stop appreciating the good things happening to us because we have filled ourselves with resentment, thus blocking love from entering.

 

We need to forgive and let go, so that we can start living life again by allowing love to enter. To do this:

 

First make a commitment to yourself that you want the best for yourself, after all your wellbeing is your priority. If you are not able to appreciate your life you will never have the courage to live the life you love.

 

Always remember that to forgive and let go is in your control; it is your choice.  If it was you that hurt another make amends; tell them or write to them about how you feel and then let go and forgive yourself.  Understand that you are human and as humans we all make mistakes.  If it was someone who hurt you then let them know, release yourself of the pain and resentment, why would you want to continue hurting yourself by holding onto this pain?  Negative thoughts deplete your energy and positive thoughts increase your energy and your thoughts are always in your control.

 

If the situation was very traumatic then it is important for you to get professional help to allow you to let go and forgive. Understand that this may, depending on the severity of the situation, take months or years, but it is only once you do this that you will be able to get peace of mind and allow your life to move forward.

 

To finish where I began; the beautiful “Prayer of Forgiveness” from The Aleph by Paulo Coelho:

 

 

The tears I shed, I forgive

The suffering and disappointments, I forgive

The betrayals and lies, I forgive

The slandering and scheming, I forgive

The hatred and persecution, I forgive

The punches that were given, I forgive

The shattered dreams, I forgive

The dead hopes, I forgive

The disaffection and jealousy, I forgive

The indifference and ill will, I forgive

The injustice in the name of justice, I forgive

The anger and mistreatment, I forgive

The neglect and oblivion, I forgive

The world with all its evil, I forgive

 

Grief and resentment, I replace with understanding and agreement

Revolt, I replace with music that comes from my violin

Pain I replace with oblivion

Revenge, I replace with victory

 

I will be able to love above all discontentment

To give even when I am stripped of everything

To work happily even when I find myself in the midst of all obstacles

To dry my tears even when I am still crying

To believe even when I am discredited

 

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